She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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