I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize