I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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