WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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