im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
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so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
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