I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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