I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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