I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize