how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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