help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Screwed.edu
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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