She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize