from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize