My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize