i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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