She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just high enough for therapy.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize