I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize