How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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