I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
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another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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