Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize