I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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