Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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