I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize