just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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