Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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