I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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