That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize