It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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