Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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