My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize