Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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