They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
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so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
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Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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