Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize