Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
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We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
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I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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