my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize