Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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