Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
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He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
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I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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