So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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