i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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