Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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