mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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