he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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