dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize