I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
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It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
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When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize