I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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