Capitaan dildo arrescate!
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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