i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize