He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
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Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
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Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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