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Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
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