I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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