I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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